All this writing is making my hand hurt. Currently I am studying for my Certificate III in Children's Services, and when that is done I will move on to try and get my Diploma. Who know's what after that, perhap's a job? That is the plan.
Yesterday was pretty uneventful, and so far today has been the same. We went shopping yesterday afternoon, after we all cuddled up in bed and had a nap. 2 hours I could have used to perhaps tidy the house or something, and I spent it napping. Oh well, I will just have to do it all today.
Right now I am thinking about Koby's birthday party. When we see them this weekend we are going to ask Andrew's parent's, Helen and Simon, if we could have it at their house, which is bigger than ours. Last year we had his party at home and there was just not enough room for the amount of people that there was there. So hopefully they will say yes and we can stop worrying about it. The theme is Cars, as in the kids movie, since he is a boy and we can't do In The Night Garden again. Currently we have figured that we might get a Mater cake made, unless we decide to go cheap and make it ourselves, in which case it will be just a mud cake with tyre tracks in the icing on the top and small figurines of the Cars characters scattered all over the icing. Next is time to think about the invites and the invite list. Family and close friends of the family.. Could turn out to be a big party, or a little one, depending on who shows up I suppose.
Feeling a little lazy today.. Hope I can make myself get up and do something later.. Maybe make a carrot cake...
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
Makes me feel, like I'm the only girl in the world.
It is now March 29, 2011. Almost 4 months since we were married. And just under four months until our son, Koby Boyd, turns 2.
As I said in my first post, which I did write yesterday, I did not expect things to be easy being a mother, but at the same time, I did not expect them to be this hard.
After Koby was born I was diagnosed with post natal depression, though it is thought by both my husband and my mum that I was suffering from depression before Koby was born. I would say that it has made things a little difficult, but I'm not the only one who suffers from this, and I can struggle through. Most days are fantastic, but when I am having a bad day.. Boy, is it bad. I would not have it any other way, though.
Just a little over a month ago, my sister in law Kat and her partner Trev were married. Andrew, Koby and myself were all privileged enough to be a part of their bridal party. Such a beautiful wedding, I am sure I cried more at theirs than I did at my own.. Then again, I'm sure I drunk more at theirs than I did at my own.
Since then, when things went all topsy turvy routine wise for Koby, we have had little sleep, and even less time together. Though we both understand that this is not because we love each other any less, it can still make me quite sad at times.
Nothing much else has really happened. I started studying for my certificate 3 in children's services last week, and last night I won 2/3 of my darts games, though I did return home a little before 12 and feeling quite ill (not alcohol induced). That feeling has not gone away today, with only 5 hours sleep, I feel horrible. So Andrew has taken the day off from work to help me with Koby. I really don't know what I would do without him. He's truly the best. Might post again later today, depending on if anything exciting happens. If not, I'll post tomorrow x.
As I said in my first post, which I did write yesterday, I did not expect things to be easy being a mother, but at the same time, I did not expect them to be this hard.
After Koby was born I was diagnosed with post natal depression, though it is thought by both my husband and my mum that I was suffering from depression before Koby was born. I would say that it has made things a little difficult, but I'm not the only one who suffers from this, and I can struggle through. Most days are fantastic, but when I am having a bad day.. Boy, is it bad. I would not have it any other way, though.
Just a little over a month ago, my sister in law Kat and her partner Trev were married. Andrew, Koby and myself were all privileged enough to be a part of their bridal party. Such a beautiful wedding, I am sure I cried more at theirs than I did at my own.. Then again, I'm sure I drunk more at theirs than I did at my own.
Since then, when things went all topsy turvy routine wise for Koby, we have had little sleep, and even less time together. Though we both understand that this is not because we love each other any less, it can still make me quite sad at times.
Nothing much else has really happened. I started studying for my certificate 3 in children's services last week, and last night I won 2/3 of my darts games, though I did return home a little before 12 and feeling quite ill (not alcohol induced). That feeling has not gone away today, with only 5 hours sleep, I feel horrible. So Andrew has taken the day off from work to help me with Koby. I really don't know what I would do without him. He's truly the best. Might post again later today, depending on if anything exciting happens. If not, I'll post tomorrow x.
Love and Marriage.
I missed some things in between events in my last post, though none of the missing events had anything to do with my being pregnant, or my pregnancy itself.
Firstly, in April of 2009, Andrew asked me to marry him. We were in bed, and I was talking about (yet again) when he would propose, as he had said that it would be by the end of April, and he said "what about now?" and pulled out the ring from his drawers. I was so stoked, so emotional, that all I could do was cry and nod. The ring is beautiful, and may not be the biggest but it means the world to me. I'm not sure how I would react if anything were to happen to it. Our engagement was the last of Andrew's siblings. Kat and Trev were first, before we had actually fallen pregnant, then was James and Bec before their trip to Europe, then ours, so we knew that the next 2 years were to be busy ones. The next big event was Koby being born, and his first Christmas 5 months later. We are happy to announce that he is a very healthy, very active and very clever young man.
In February 2010 I turned 18, which is not so momentous, but I just thought I would put it out there. And in March of the same year, James and Bec were married. It was a beautiful wedding, so huge and Italian. At this stage Koby was 1 week off 9 months old.
July 2010, Koby turns 1! Such an event for us, not because of the speciality of it, but since a few days before we were in the hospital with Koby who had a fever of almost 40, and seemed to be in alot of pain. The cause was unknown at the time.. Until that Saturday, the 17th, Koby's first birthday, when we were back in emergency because Koby had reached fever point again and was now also covered in a rash. I thought it could have been perhaps the measles, but it turns out that it was Roseola Infantum. Two days later we were asked to go back to the hospital to have him checked up on, and were told that he would be fine within a couple of days.
By this time we had started planning our wedding, and had set the date for December 4 2010. Though our budget was small, we done the best we could to have the wedding we wanted. My two bridesmaids were Kat and Bec, Kat being my Maid of Honour, and Andrews groomsmen were Trev and James, with Trev being the Best Man. Both the ceremony and reception were to be held at the Orange Botanical Gardens, with the ceremony planned to be in the area called "the Billabong", which was situated next to a river. Our day was going to be beautiful, though not expensive. The suits were reused from James and Bec's wedding, changing the ties so they looked completely different, and the dresses were bought online. Our beautiful son Koby was to be page boy, with a friends daughter to be flower girl. Then, as the day drew closer, disaster struck.
With our wedding being set for December, it was Summer, but Mother Nature had decided that she liked the wet. Though we had a back up plan, I was still devastated, as I had pictured everything to happen in our area. I was wondering, 'now that its a different area, will it be the same?'. The answer was yes, my day was still my day, and I loved it. Though it didn't actually rain the day of our wedding, it had poured down for a week beforehand, and so the ground at the gardens was still very soggy. Thank God that we had moved our ceremony to the undercover area next to the reception room. Solid floor, and no rain at all. It was wonderful.
I was delivered to my mum's house early in the morning, to start getting ready, and Kat and Bec were to meet me there at 10. We started with some champagne, then moved on to doing our hair, then make up. Our photographer came and took some shots of us getting ready, and of the shoes, dresses etc.. Then left to do the same for the boys. He would return later to take photos of me getting into my dress.
When it came time for me to leave everyone was in a rush.. But then we were slowed down by the photographer, who had started to agitate me a little by this stage. He had left the lights on in his car, and his battery had gone flat. So while he waited for jumper leads to start his car, we set off to the gardens to wait for him. I was a little more than half an hour late for my wedding day, and it wasn't even my fault!
After the photographer arrived we got ready to start down the aisle, Bec first, holding the hand of Harmony, our flower girl, then Kat holding the hand of Koby, then myself with my mum, who was giving me away. To my surprise, as I had not known it had been planned, there was an aisle marked out on the ground with sand and rose petals, which had been organised by my mum that morning. I could not stop the tears when I saw this, then looked up to see my soon to be husband, and realised that this was really happening to me, I was getting married. We said our vows, exchanged rings, and kissed... I was so unbelievably happy.. And still am to this day.
After more photos were taken we sat down with our families and our closest friends and ate, celebrating this occasion. Speeches were made my Simon (Andrew's father), Trev (Andrew's Best Man) and Andrew himself. Then we drank and danced, I threw the bouquet, and my cousin Ashley, who is now to be married in November, caught it. In the rush of getting ready I had forgotten to put on my garter, and so it was not tossed, but noone minded. We left to go home at 1am. It was the most amazing night of my life. No, it may not have cost us much, and it may not have been big, but we were joined by the people we loved, with good food and alcohol, and it was perfect for us...
Firstly, in April of 2009, Andrew asked me to marry him. We were in bed, and I was talking about (yet again) when he would propose, as he had said that it would be by the end of April, and he said "what about now?" and pulled out the ring from his drawers. I was so stoked, so emotional, that all I could do was cry and nod. The ring is beautiful, and may not be the biggest but it means the world to me. I'm not sure how I would react if anything were to happen to it. Our engagement was the last of Andrew's siblings. Kat and Trev were first, before we had actually fallen pregnant, then was James and Bec before their trip to Europe, then ours, so we knew that the next 2 years were to be busy ones. The next big event was Koby being born, and his first Christmas 5 months later. We are happy to announce that he is a very healthy, very active and very clever young man.
In February 2010 I turned 18, which is not so momentous, but I just thought I would put it out there. And in March of the same year, James and Bec were married. It was a beautiful wedding, so huge and Italian. At this stage Koby was 1 week off 9 months old.
July 2010, Koby turns 1! Such an event for us, not because of the speciality of it, but since a few days before we were in the hospital with Koby who had a fever of almost 40, and seemed to be in alot of pain. The cause was unknown at the time.. Until that Saturday, the 17th, Koby's first birthday, when we were back in emergency because Koby had reached fever point again and was now also covered in a rash. I thought it could have been perhaps the measles, but it turns out that it was Roseola Infantum. Two days later we were asked to go back to the hospital to have him checked up on, and were told that he would be fine within a couple of days.
By this time we had started planning our wedding, and had set the date for December 4 2010. Though our budget was small, we done the best we could to have the wedding we wanted. My two bridesmaids were Kat and Bec, Kat being my Maid of Honour, and Andrews groomsmen were Trev and James, with Trev being the Best Man. Both the ceremony and reception were to be held at the Orange Botanical Gardens, with the ceremony planned to be in the area called "the Billabong", which was situated next to a river. Our day was going to be beautiful, though not expensive. The suits were reused from James and Bec's wedding, changing the ties so they looked completely different, and the dresses were bought online. Our beautiful son Koby was to be page boy, with a friends daughter to be flower girl. Then, as the day drew closer, disaster struck.
With our wedding being set for December, it was Summer, but Mother Nature had decided that she liked the wet. Though we had a back up plan, I was still devastated, as I had pictured everything to happen in our area. I was wondering, 'now that its a different area, will it be the same?'. The answer was yes, my day was still my day, and I loved it. Though it didn't actually rain the day of our wedding, it had poured down for a week beforehand, and so the ground at the gardens was still very soggy. Thank God that we had moved our ceremony to the undercover area next to the reception room. Solid floor, and no rain at all. It was wonderful.
I was delivered to my mum's house early in the morning, to start getting ready, and Kat and Bec were to meet me there at 10. We started with some champagne, then moved on to doing our hair, then make up. Our photographer came and took some shots of us getting ready, and of the shoes, dresses etc.. Then left to do the same for the boys. He would return later to take photos of me getting into my dress.
When it came time for me to leave everyone was in a rush.. But then we were slowed down by the photographer, who had started to agitate me a little by this stage. He had left the lights on in his car, and his battery had gone flat. So while he waited for jumper leads to start his car, we set off to the gardens to wait for him. I was a little more than half an hour late for my wedding day, and it wasn't even my fault!
After the photographer arrived we got ready to start down the aisle, Bec first, holding the hand of Harmony, our flower girl, then Kat holding the hand of Koby, then myself with my mum, who was giving me away. To my surprise, as I had not known it had been planned, there was an aisle marked out on the ground with sand and rose petals, which had been organised by my mum that morning. I could not stop the tears when I saw this, then looked up to see my soon to be husband, and realised that this was really happening to me, I was getting married. We said our vows, exchanged rings, and kissed... I was so unbelievably happy.. And still am to this day.
After more photos were taken we sat down with our families and our closest friends and ate, celebrating this occasion. Speeches were made my Simon (Andrew's father), Trev (Andrew's Best Man) and Andrew himself. Then we drank and danced, I threw the bouquet, and my cousin Ashley, who is now to be married in November, caught it. In the rush of getting ready I had forgotten to put on my garter, and so it was not tossed, but noone minded. We left to go home at 1am. It was the most amazing night of my life. No, it may not have cost us much, and it may not have been big, but we were joined by the people we loved, with good food and alcohol, and it was perfect for us...
Sunday, 27 March 2011
16 and pregnant
I knew it wouldn't always be easy being a mother, and going through the labout process which I did at the young age of 17 I felt I could get through anything that came at me, but right now, I'm just not sure.
It all started in October 2008, when we found out that we were expecting. "We" being my then partner, now husband, and I. We had talked about having a child in the near future, and were starting to really like the idea, when it happened. The first person to be told was my mother, who found out straight away, then were the god parents Kat and Trev, then the in-laws, and then Andrew's brother James and his now wife Bec. All of this news spreading happened within the space of a day, but still James and Bec were upset when they discovered they were told last. Revising now I understand, but at the time we were just too excited to care, and were even hurt that they would suggest that we had planned it this way.
Shortly after this, in February of 2009, Andrew's grandmother passed away, at the beautiful age of 89, and though it was sad, we were thankful that she was no longer in pain. At this time we had not yet found out the sex of the baby, and I was hping for a daughter, Andrew a son. We were also tossing up names that we liked, but when we learnt of Flora's passing I suggested to Andrew that I thought it would be nice if we named our child Flora if it was a girl, or Dane (Flora's surname) if it was a boy. As you will discover later, this is not how it turned out.
A bit over a month after Flora's passing it was time to discover the sex of our beautiful baby. Everyone who could make it came and witnessed this event, including Helen and Simon, even though I was doubtful of them wanting to, not because of the occasion, but simply because of the significance of the date that this was held on, Friday March 21st 2009, what would have been Flora's 90th birthday. Andrew and I entered the ultrasound room first, just us, to check that everything was fine with bub and to learn of the sex of the baby ourselves so we could deal with any emotions we may have had in learning that it was or was not what we had been hoping for. I will say that I did cry when I learnt that we were having a boy, but it was not for grief or disappointment. I suppose I was proud to say that I was having a son, my first born son. After emotions had been dealt with Andrew left the room to tell the others (my mother and his parents) that they were now allowed in also. This was then they too learnt that we would have a son, which was followed by a prompt "I told you so" from my mother.
After this ultasound I was quite upset that it was the last time I could "see" my son until his birth, which was when Simon suggested getting a 3d ultrasound, and having it saved on disc. I thought this was a wonderful idea, and started planning for it to be done. At roughly 30 weeks Simon, who is a local neurosurgeon, wrote me a referal to get one done, and off I went. Andrew was away for work and would be returning later that afternoon, so I done this one with just my mother. I still believe that it was because only one of the parents was there that I was not told at the time, though they were adament that they had to check with the doctors before disclosing anything to me, as they did not want to upset me for no reason. I was pretty upset when I found out later that day.
Andrew returned from work that evening and we were quietly enjoying each others company when his phone rang. It was Simon, who had just received a phone call from the ultrasound clinic stating that they had found what they believed to be an umbilical vein varix on our sons umbilical cord. I had no idea what this was when I heard it, and was histerics that they had not said anything to me sooner. Simon came to our house to explain what it was, which is basically a varicose vein clot in his umbilical cord, which would grow as he grew, and if it became big enough there was a definate risk of the child dying in utero. I don't remember much else from that night, except that Simon told Andrew who we had to see, and where, which was a Professor at the Nepean Hospital. So a week later we drove all the way from Orange to Penrith to see him, hoping that everything was alright, and that we would not lose our child. When we arrived we met the Professor, and he started the ultrasound, taking measurements of the varix, and then gave us instructions of what we should do for the rest of the pregnancy to keep this situation monitored and have the best chance of keeping our son alive if anything went wrong. I was instructed to meet with a Dr. Green here in Orange to work out an exact routine for the times I would receive an ultrasound weekly, and also a doctors appointment with a doctor in the maternity ward in our hospital and heart rate monitoring weekly.
For the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy everything went smoothly, and as was discussed with my doctor in previous weeks, I was to be induced 2 weeks early so that there was less chance of the varix becoming large enough to become fatal to our son, who we had already named Koby Boyd Hammond. Very quickly the date of my induction rolled around, and at 2pm on Thursday July 16th I was signed into the hospital, and given the gel which would help to start my labour. Very soon after the gel was inserted I started having light contractions, but with my low pain threshold I was in some pain. This was nothing compared to what I was to experience later, though. Nothing much had happened from then until 10pm, and Andrew was asked to go home as there was no room for him to stay with me with the ward being so busy, even though there was an empty bed in the same room I was in for the duration of my stay.
I managed to get a little sleep from then until about 12, when I woke in so much pain I could not get back to sleep. This was when a midwife gave me some painkillers, and when these didn't help, some sleeping tablets. When these also didn't help I was run a warm bath, and Andrew was rung to help me with calming down, as I was getting quite stressed at this point from both the pain and my being tired. One whole hour in the bath and I was almost crying I was in so much pain, but I knew I needed sleep as it was only going to continue and I needed my energy for the labour that was sure to come soon.. well, those were my hopes. After being settled back into bed I was given a shot of morphine to ease the pain and Andrew stayed to help me to sleep, but soon after left to go home to get some sleep himself.
4am, Friday July 17, I woke up, feeling like I needed to pee, so I walk across the hall to the bathroom and whoosh, my waters broke. Strangest feeling I have ever had. After this the pains became more intense and closer together, and I could not sleep at all. For 4 hours I sat up and waited until I was able to call Andrew and tell him to come down, it was happening soon. I could feel it. Man, I was wrong. Soon after Andrew arrived I was moved to a labour room, and prepped. Though it was a while off, it could happen very quickly, I was told. At 10am I went for a walk, but soon returned to the room as I could not stand up straight. Pretty much straught away I was attached to a drip and could no longer move from the room.. I was trapped!
I think it was about 12 when I was in so much pain that I asked for the epidural, and actually received it. To be honest I can't remember it hurting, because I had had so much gas that I was surely not on planet earth!
I can't really remember much happening after that. either because nothing really happened after that or because I was too high, all I can remember is that at some point Koby's heart rate dropped considerably, and after being poked and prodded everywhere to be sure that he hadn't just moved and they hadn't just lost his heart beat, instead of it actually dropping, I was told that I was to have an emergency caesarian, as I was only 4cm dilated and Koby was trying to push his way out, resulting in his head becoming stuck, causing his heart rate to drop. Everything seemed to move so slowly after that, but I was soon prepped and taken into the operating theatre, where I waited for everyone to be ready, and Andrew came in. He kept talking to me, I think he was nervous, and suddenly I could feel them pushing on my stomach to get Koby out.. A couple of seconds later there was a scream, and my son had been born. He was cleaned up, and placed next to my head so that I could look at him while they stitched me up and cleaned me up. This didn't seem to last long enough, because soon after Andrew was asked to leave and take Koby down to the maternity ward, where the rest of our families were waiting. I was told I would be 15 minutes, and then I could go down and see him. This was at 6.18pm.. I held my son for the first time at 10.30pm.
Since that day it has been 20 months and 11 days. My son, Koby Boyd, will be turning 2 in four months. Time has flown, and many things have happened since then.
It all started in October 2008, when we found out that we were expecting. "We" being my then partner, now husband, and I. We had talked about having a child in the near future, and were starting to really like the idea, when it happened. The first person to be told was my mother, who found out straight away, then were the god parents Kat and Trev, then the in-laws, and then Andrew's brother James and his now wife Bec. All of this news spreading happened within the space of a day, but still James and Bec were upset when they discovered they were told last. Revising now I understand, but at the time we were just too excited to care, and were even hurt that they would suggest that we had planned it this way.
Shortly after this, in February of 2009, Andrew's grandmother passed away, at the beautiful age of 89, and though it was sad, we were thankful that she was no longer in pain. At this time we had not yet found out the sex of the baby, and I was hping for a daughter, Andrew a son. We were also tossing up names that we liked, but when we learnt of Flora's passing I suggested to Andrew that I thought it would be nice if we named our child Flora if it was a girl, or Dane (Flora's surname) if it was a boy. As you will discover later, this is not how it turned out.
A bit over a month after Flora's passing it was time to discover the sex of our beautiful baby. Everyone who could make it came and witnessed this event, including Helen and Simon, even though I was doubtful of them wanting to, not because of the occasion, but simply because of the significance of the date that this was held on, Friday March 21st 2009, what would have been Flora's 90th birthday. Andrew and I entered the ultrasound room first, just us, to check that everything was fine with bub and to learn of the sex of the baby ourselves so we could deal with any emotions we may have had in learning that it was or was not what we had been hoping for. I will say that I did cry when I learnt that we were having a boy, but it was not for grief or disappointment. I suppose I was proud to say that I was having a son, my first born son. After emotions had been dealt with Andrew left the room to tell the others (my mother and his parents) that they were now allowed in also. This was then they too learnt that we would have a son, which was followed by a prompt "I told you so" from my mother.
After this ultasound I was quite upset that it was the last time I could "see" my son until his birth, which was when Simon suggested getting a 3d ultrasound, and having it saved on disc. I thought this was a wonderful idea, and started planning for it to be done. At roughly 30 weeks Simon, who is a local neurosurgeon, wrote me a referal to get one done, and off I went. Andrew was away for work and would be returning later that afternoon, so I done this one with just my mother. I still believe that it was because only one of the parents was there that I was not told at the time, though they were adament that they had to check with the doctors before disclosing anything to me, as they did not want to upset me for no reason. I was pretty upset when I found out later that day.
Andrew returned from work that evening and we were quietly enjoying each others company when his phone rang. It was Simon, who had just received a phone call from the ultrasound clinic stating that they had found what they believed to be an umbilical vein varix on our sons umbilical cord. I had no idea what this was when I heard it, and was histerics that they had not said anything to me sooner. Simon came to our house to explain what it was, which is basically a varicose vein clot in his umbilical cord, which would grow as he grew, and if it became big enough there was a definate risk of the child dying in utero. I don't remember much else from that night, except that Simon told Andrew who we had to see, and where, which was a Professor at the Nepean Hospital. So a week later we drove all the way from Orange to Penrith to see him, hoping that everything was alright, and that we would not lose our child. When we arrived we met the Professor, and he started the ultrasound, taking measurements of the varix, and then gave us instructions of what we should do for the rest of the pregnancy to keep this situation monitored and have the best chance of keeping our son alive if anything went wrong. I was instructed to meet with a Dr. Green here in Orange to work out an exact routine for the times I would receive an ultrasound weekly, and also a doctors appointment with a doctor in the maternity ward in our hospital and heart rate monitoring weekly.
For the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy everything went smoothly, and as was discussed with my doctor in previous weeks, I was to be induced 2 weeks early so that there was less chance of the varix becoming large enough to become fatal to our son, who we had already named Koby Boyd Hammond. Very quickly the date of my induction rolled around, and at 2pm on Thursday July 16th I was signed into the hospital, and given the gel which would help to start my labour. Very soon after the gel was inserted I started having light contractions, but with my low pain threshold I was in some pain. This was nothing compared to what I was to experience later, though. Nothing much had happened from then until 10pm, and Andrew was asked to go home as there was no room for him to stay with me with the ward being so busy, even though there was an empty bed in the same room I was in for the duration of my stay.
I managed to get a little sleep from then until about 12, when I woke in so much pain I could not get back to sleep. This was when a midwife gave me some painkillers, and when these didn't help, some sleeping tablets. When these also didn't help I was run a warm bath, and Andrew was rung to help me with calming down, as I was getting quite stressed at this point from both the pain and my being tired. One whole hour in the bath and I was almost crying I was in so much pain, but I knew I needed sleep as it was only going to continue and I needed my energy for the labour that was sure to come soon.. well, those were my hopes. After being settled back into bed I was given a shot of morphine to ease the pain and Andrew stayed to help me to sleep, but soon after left to go home to get some sleep himself.
4am, Friday July 17, I woke up, feeling like I needed to pee, so I walk across the hall to the bathroom and whoosh, my waters broke. Strangest feeling I have ever had. After this the pains became more intense and closer together, and I could not sleep at all. For 4 hours I sat up and waited until I was able to call Andrew and tell him to come down, it was happening soon. I could feel it. Man, I was wrong. Soon after Andrew arrived I was moved to a labour room, and prepped. Though it was a while off, it could happen very quickly, I was told. At 10am I went for a walk, but soon returned to the room as I could not stand up straight. Pretty much straught away I was attached to a drip and could no longer move from the room.. I was trapped!
I think it was about 12 when I was in so much pain that I asked for the epidural, and actually received it. To be honest I can't remember it hurting, because I had had so much gas that I was surely not on planet earth!
I can't really remember much happening after that. either because nothing really happened after that or because I was too high, all I can remember is that at some point Koby's heart rate dropped considerably, and after being poked and prodded everywhere to be sure that he hadn't just moved and they hadn't just lost his heart beat, instead of it actually dropping, I was told that I was to have an emergency caesarian, as I was only 4cm dilated and Koby was trying to push his way out, resulting in his head becoming stuck, causing his heart rate to drop. Everything seemed to move so slowly after that, but I was soon prepped and taken into the operating theatre, where I waited for everyone to be ready, and Andrew came in. He kept talking to me, I think he was nervous, and suddenly I could feel them pushing on my stomach to get Koby out.. A couple of seconds later there was a scream, and my son had been born. He was cleaned up, and placed next to my head so that I could look at him while they stitched me up and cleaned me up. This didn't seem to last long enough, because soon after Andrew was asked to leave and take Koby down to the maternity ward, where the rest of our families were waiting. I was told I would be 15 minutes, and then I could go down and see him. This was at 6.18pm.. I held my son for the first time at 10.30pm.
Since that day it has been 20 months and 11 days. My son, Koby Boyd, will be turning 2 in four months. Time has flown, and many things have happened since then.
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